Let me try to help you solve your legal problems. Here’s how.
First of all: I can understand them.
Second: I will do my best to solve them.
As to the first: Over the past quarter century, as I have sought to care for my family in a world that seems indifferent to our needs, I have been forced to learn a lesson that everybody should apprehend before death grasps him: God sends rain on the just and on the unjust. Or, in the words of the narrator of The Princess Bride, “life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.”
In spite of my repeated efforts to be an attentive father, a good citizen, and a dutiful employee, the wheel of fortune has variously thrown me and my family such afflictions as crippling illness, serial unemployment, mountainous debt, and good-old-fashioned dashed dreams.
I don’t mean to complain: I have also been blessed with a loving wife and three precocious sons. I have had many thrilling jobs and known interesting people. Life, in spite of everything, has been good to me. But I know well how things can go wrong. Bad things happen to those who mean well.
As to the second: I am good at fixing problems.
As I have sought to surmount the challenges that fate has tossed me, I developed a dogged resourcefulness. Solving a problem requires persistence: One must be tenacious. But one also must be smart. If one approach doesn’t work, perhaps another will succeed. But best of all is the ability to survey the battlefield first, identify the various approaches to victory, assess their likelihood of success, and, only then, act. I do this well.
I have also acquired the specialized skills to succeed in a legal dispute. I went to law school to make myself an effective teacher of law and philosophy. That didn’t work out. But along the way I learned to read cases, interpret statutes, write briefs, argue in court, and think like a judge. I can now use those skills to help solve your problems.
Give me a try: I know what it is like to experience adversity. I know how to overcome it. Let me help you confront yours.
I am a “debt relief agency” as defined by 11 USC § 101(12)(12A).